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If, like millions of other vacation-starved TV watchers, your serotonin levels spike when that White Lotus theme hits, you've come to the right place. Not only are we at TQE absolute die-hard Lotus Eaters, we've also been keeping our eagle eyes out for dupes of its very best lewks.
As unforgettable as the series' maiden voyage to Hawaii was, there's something about Sicily that's brought out everyone's inner fashionista. And though we might not all have Tanya McQuoid's bank balance ( neither will she if those scheming gays have anything to do with it…), this style guide will help you realize your Italo fashion fantasies.
So grab your complimentary welcome drink and come inside for check-in. Just make sure to keep your wits about you, because some of these looks can kill.
SO YOU WANT TO DRESS LIKE…
As if we could start with anyone else. Since storming onscreen and into Belinda's massage studio in Season One, Jennifer Coolidge has been the manic, beating heart of this rollercoaster of a show. Her most iconic fashion moment by far this season is her channeling Monica Vitti (or, as Valentina savagely put it, "Peppa Pig") in a luxe pink Temperley kaftan.
Though not an exact match, this Liana Print V-Neck Dress ($605) certainly channels her batty la dolce vita energy. Madewell's Bazaar Dress ($354.99) is a slightly more affordable and more youthful spin on the same idea, and both can be thrown together with the Pink Double Silk Scarf ($67) from SSense. Do your very best to look windswept while you're at it, even if you don't have a Vespa waiting.
I couldn't make you wait for Lucia's fits. No shade to her ride-or-die Mia, but Lucia is the undisputed look queen of Taormina. White Lotus costume designer Alex Bouviard has confirmed that Lucia's stunning red strappy dress was sourced from a local vintage store, but the Tasha Mini Dress from Revolve ($128) comes pretty damn close to capturing the magic. No guarantees that it'll score you resort access, but in this dress anything's possible.
Portia's outfits on the other hand are… certainly clothing! Though she's been handily roasted on social media for her insufferably trend-chasing hodgepodges, every now and then she turns out a real banger. All it took was a night out on the town with the Essex lad Jack to look smoking in this matching set from House of Sunny (£97 for the pants, £58 for the bikini top). We applaud actress Haley Lu Richardson for contributing to Portia's styling, as it brilliantly exposes her character's lack of identity – but when it comes to this style guide, we'll leave most of her looks on the rack.
After launching her career on the strength of her death glare, Aubrey Plaza is now taking the artform to whole new heights. Though Harper might be mercilessly sour at times, she's got one hell of an eye for fashion, dressing in all kinds of vintage Moschino pieces we'd kill to track down. But allow us a victory lap for finding the exact dupe for her preppy white mini dress ($285), courtesy of My Beachy Side. Kudos to her for spending Ethan's new money so well.
Daphne is the unphased and unbothered queen of this resort. While everyone else is contorting themselves into spasms of rage and horniness, she's booking herself massages and enjoying those spritzes. As she should! Channel some of that beachy zen in this 4Giveness Monokini (£29.50 – currently unavailable), the exact starfish print she wore seaside, and this Cin Cin swimsuit ($150) that looks a hell of a lot like the Pucci stunner she donned. For a fraction of the price, of course.
Valentina really said, "Nice try, Hillary Clinton." The new leader of Pantsuit Nation has emerged. Valentina has given us bitchy quips and mournful lip quivers all season long, but on top of that, she's had a killer line-up of tailored women's workwear. M.M.LaFleur captures both the cut and the iconic pink color with its Moreland Jacket in Blush ($325), which can be paired with the matching pants ($225) to make a full-on power suit. All the better for telling Rocco to stay the f*ck away from your girl.
Ethan may have just taken his company public, but there's not a whole lot else we envy him for – besides his abs, his flawless face, and the dedication of his running routine. Kickstart your own 10K training with this Adidas tee ($20) and shorts ($22), paying tribute to Ethan's favorite brand and the volcanically red color he wore in the last episode. It's the color of simmering, repressed rage, after all.
All Cameron knows is: wear printed short-sleeve, eat hot chip and lie. Theo James channels every hot dad you've ever seen on vacation in an endless rotation of floral, relaxed shirts, in the vein of this camp collar from Huckberry ($88). Saturdays NYC makes another one ($165) we think would earn the Cam stamp of approval – just try to make slightly more morally sound decisions when you wear it, 'kay?
You couldn't pay me to spend five minutes with this man once he has a few beers in him, but mad respect to Jack for rocking the Gaucho Terry Cloth Shirt ($109) from one of my favorite brands, Dandy Del Mar. If you're in search of what Alex Bouviard has coined "his Love Island aesthetic," you'll find a ton of London Boy viscose shirts ($47) from Topman. Which is fitting, since Tanya walked in on him topping his "uncle" (heyo!!!).
If you've seen that sex scene, you know that all you really need to pull an Albie is a pair of squeaky clean white socks ($14). I think I'll leave it at that.
That's a wrap for us on the style guide, but we hope you've got your clocks set for Sunday's finale. Bodies will be found, vacations will be ruined, and if the track record has anything to tell us, a few more to-die-for looks will be served.
What more can you ask for?