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I used to think that being single on Valentine’s Day was the ninth circle of hell, but this year… I have to be single on Valentine’s Day during a global pandemic!? Bleak. Gone are the simpler February 14ths when I could congregate with other singles at a dive bar to throw endless shade at teddy-bear-hugging romantics. This year, quite literally left to my own devices, there’s nothing to do except cyber-stalk some cuties, binge watch romcoms, and order takeout.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. This weird slice of history taught me the precious art of being alone. I learned how to sit with my feelings instead of indulging in meaningless gossip.I started consulting my trusty journal for answers instead of relying on my friends for advice on every minor annoyance. I earned a master’s degree in Minding My Own Business.
Without question, this past year was transformative for everybody. We’ve been through a lot this year, and we all deserve a little pampering and R&R. The best way to celebrate all this personal growth? Romance yourself on Valentine’s Day. Go ahead, fill your studio apartment with 30 heart-shaped balloons! Gift wrap all your presents and unwrap them with gusto! Sing yourself some love songs in the mirror!
Do all the things you’d want a partner to do for you, and more. If you’re single, in a long-distance relationship, or need to distance from your partner on Valentine’s Day, we’ve got your back. Here are six products to bump up your self-romance game:
But First, A Luxurious Robe
We may not be able to stay at our favorite hotels or book a spa appointment right now, but we can still keep the vibes going at home. Made of 100% Turkish cotton, Parachute’s Waffle Robe clings to the skin like brown butter on the tongue — soft, smooth and silky. Bonus points: their fabrics are Oeko-Tex certified, which means they’re free of harmful chemicals and substances usually found in the textile industry.
To get maximum enjoyment from your sacred V-Day robe time, take a few minutes to clean up around the house, put some music on and dim the lights. Let your robe transport you to The Ultimate Chill Zone.
Snacks On Snacks, Baby
Next priority: unctuous chocolatey snacks. None of that sad drugstore candy today, we’re doing it up.
Treat yourself to Milk Bar’s Mini Red Velvet Duo. It comes with a Mini Red Velvet Cake which has — buckle your seatbelts, folks, we’re headed to Flavortown — decadent layers of chocolate red velvet cake, cookies ‘n cream cheese frosting, a chocolate cheesecake filling with crunchy chocolate bits, all topped topped with red velvet crumbs.
Who else is drooling? You’ll also get a dozen Red Velvet Truffles, which are pretty much a bite-sized chewy version of the stunning cake itself. Just be careful not to get any crumbs on your luxe Parachute robe, babe.
Make Yourself Blush
Ever received a bouquet of flowers from a suitor that just completely missed the mark? Here’s your chance to pick out exactly what you want. Send yourself some flowers from Urban Stems. Roses and carnations are for the basics, tbh. Urban Stems’ bouquets feature some trendier blooms like thistles, ranunculus and safari sunsets — all of which come from farms that don’t disrupt its region’s ecosystems and pay their workers fair, livable wages.
Write yourself a little note. Make it sweet or naughty, if you’re into it. The courier that hand-delivers your bouquet can chuckle all they want at your card that reads, “Dear Me: Damn, that ass in those jeans tho!? Love, Me.”
Set The Mood
Get ultra-romantic by lighting as many candles as possible, including maude’s burn no. 1 Massage Candle. Maude perfected their signature candle scent with notes of amber, cedar leaf, lemon grass, tonka bean and medjool date in Brooklyn. They developed the formula to burn at a low-temperature so that once the candle melts, you can use the wax to give yourself a warm, hydrating massage.
Pro-tip: You don’t need a boo to reap the rewards of a massage candle. Prop your legs up onto a pillow or two, then give your feet and calves a gentle massage. If you hold tension in your shoulders from working at a computer all day, sensually drip the candle on your shoulder or collar bone and work your fingers over those knotty muscles.
Rub One Out
Unurprisingly, the sex toy industry survived and thrived during the pandemic, bringing lonely hearts and genitals all over the world some much needed pleasure. Thanks to our good friends at Dame, everyday is a great day to have a vulva. Their water-resistant and three-charge finger vibrator, Fin, is the definition of self-care.
The toy is made of medical-grade silicone, a material that repels bacteria. It’s also waterproof, which means you can spruce up a regular old bath with an orgasm or two. To top it all off, Fin features 3 different settings to help you celebrate the weirdest Valentine’s Day of the century.
Turn It Up A Notch
Made with cannabis cultivated to organic standards, Foria’s THC Pleasure Lube enhances pleasure and sensitivity — perfect for a candlelit night in with your trusty sex toys. Some people even say that they begin to feel the same psychoactive effects as smoking or vaping cannabis from using THC lube. If you live in California or Colorado where weed is legal for recreational use, you can find Foria’s THC lube at select dispensaries.
For folks outside of those two states, Foria also makes Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD that offers the same enhanced pleasure, without the loopy psychoactive effects of THC. Using either of these formulations can help soothe discomfort in intimate areas. Translation: you can get buck with adventurous positions and make your big o’s last even longer.
You Deserve The Best
*in our best Janet Jackson voice* It’s all for yooooooouuuu! Life’s too short to sit at home and mope about an extra-lonely Valentine’s Day. It’s time to celebrate the brilliant mind, body and spirit that has been kicking ass and taking names during this unprecedented time in history. Armed with your comfy cozies, flowers, candles, sex toys and lube, you’re ready to make the best of Valentine’s Day 2021.