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I'm no stranger to throwing a dinner party. No stranger to writing about them either. Yet even though 2026 marks the third year in a row that I've resolved to host one every month, entertaining is an art I keep fine-tuning with each go around. When thinking through the right guest list, the menu, the mood lighting even, sometimes I want easy breezy… and sometimes I want the Everest of cocktail hours.
So what better way to revitalize an age-old topic than by chatting degree of difficulty? If you remember choosing between Easy, Medium and Expert Mode on your N64 games, imagine the same scenario. Except it takes place in your kitchen. Below you'll find a series of tips for entertaining borne out of experience — both from myself and from some of our favorite outside experts — organized by how much ambition they require. If you're new to the dinner party game, stick to guidance marked Low-Lift. Have a good amount under your belt? The Well-Planned route is for you. But if you're ready to feel alive, to give yourself a challenge that will thrill your guests to no end, then sign up for the highs and lows of the All-In option.
Whichever path you choose, remember: all of this is supposed to be fun. If you're not having a ball at your own party, how can anybody else?
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1. THE CROWD
Every decision you make, from the level of formality to the entree du jour, ripples out from your most important choice: who's coming to this shindig? That's not to suggest you should overthink it. Some of my favorite dinner parties have been spent entertaining my closest, most reliable group of friends. If you're looking for a Low-Lift evening, that's hands down my recommendation. Invite the group chat that already gets along famously, who can keep themselves entertained if you're waylaid by last-minute prep. Especially if you're newer to hosting, might as well remove any stress around social cohesion.
For my Well-Planned folks, I'd encourage you to mix and match friend groups — thoughtfully. Play matchmaker with your favorite people who haven't had a chance to overlap, or loop in new acquaintances you want to bring into the fold. Just make sure as you build your guest list that everyone has one solid "buddy": someone you're positive they'll have a point of connection with. As long as there's no odd person out, you'll be surprised how a bit of new blood brings out the best even in old friends.
The best way to go All-In, though, is to leave things up to chance: choose half your invitees and give them each a blind plus-one. I've only been to parties like this, never thrown one myself, but I can attest that the unpredictability gives the night a titillating edge. Still ask the necessary questions around dietary restrictions and level of sobriety so you're prepared to host whoever they turn up with, but leave the rest in their hands. And if you want to retain some authority, turn to a Hail Mary that looks more chic than controlling: assigned seating courtesy of a few placecards.
2. THE TABLE
Low-Lift: When seeking help on aesthetics, there's no expert I turn to more often than Alexis DeBoschnek, author of the recent cookbook Nights and Weekends and creator of the video series Cooking With Friends. What always strikes me is how effortless her entertaining looks – and sure enough, her advice for beginners was not to sweat the tablescape. "Don't stress about making sure you have matching plates or serveware," advises DeBoschnek. "If your tables and glasses don't match, that's fine! Even Mason jars work well in a pinch." If you're truly starting from scratch, it's still worth investing in dinner plates, water glasses, and of course a set of silverware (follow the links to browse through some of our favorites), but no need to buy stemmed wine glasses just because your parents did. I prefer serving wine out of small tumblers like these anyway, which work just as well for any other kind of beverage. The one purchase you'll thank yourself most for during cleanup, though, is an easy, neutral tablecloth. Even for a casual gathering, it's a lifesaver for catching spills.
Well-Planned: Once you've been around the block a few times, it's worth stocking up on your tableware. Serving vessels are a great place to express yourself, whether that's with the rustic Large Serving Platter from Sojourn or Year & Day's Low Serving Bowl (a favorite of DeBoschnek's). Building out a repertoire of napkins in different colors – like these from Hawkins – can bring a different vibe to each gathering, so your friends aren't always watching you repeat the same color story. And if you haven't ventured beyond votives, explore the wide world of statement candles. The Twist Tapers from Citizenry are just one example of how to make your table pop.
All-In: While you can always keep adding to your linen collection, the surest way to stun your guests is by presenting them with bounty. DeBoschnek is known for her jaw-dropping tablescapes – in fact for last year's Thanksgiving "the table was decked out in fruits and vegetables in shades of browns, reds, and rusts with pops of orange." That's right, the most helpful props for her parties often come from the produce section, like the koginut squash, persimmons, and pears that she interspersed with candles of similar colors. Her advice? "Abundance is the key to really pulling this off. Try to stack and drape the fruit and vegetables so that they look almost piled on top of each other." And make sure to pick ripe, in-season fruit that's actually edible. Call that a chef's treat you can enjoy after your guests Uber home.
3. THE VIBE
Low-Lift: You don't need to make over your living space to set the mood. One of the lowest-lift, highest-reward things you can do is simply make a great playlist. I've been to way too many sans-music gatherings, which only amplify the silence when there's a lull in conversation. Give yourself a pleasant backing track instead, with songs that keep things upbeat without being intrusive. I've been updating the same pre-dinner playlist since 2011, adding any new mid-tempo faves that are warm and crowdpleasing. I lean more poppy and dance-y (like this playlist) for outdoor gatherings, or for dinner parties where "party" is the operative word.
Well-Planned: For the next step up, consider other sensory elements. Lighting can make or break the vibe you're trying to set: nothing's less sexy than a harsh halogen overhead. When you're mingling in the living room before dinner, shaded floor lamps are your best friend. The Nelson Cigar Lotus emits a golden glow, while the Oslo from Article keeps light contained, letting you play with shadow. Light your dining space with candles for even more ambience (from any of the recs in the Table section), and/or bring fresh flowers into the space through TQE favorite The Bouqs Co.
All-In: The best way to stand apart from other hosts is to inject your evening with moments of theater. I recently attended a friend's dinner where the dining room was hidden from view by a ring of velvet curtains. We had martinis in the other room, then when dinner was served, the curtains were pulled back to reveal a gorgeously set table. There are so many ways to keep the night feeling tactile and alive, whether that's hiring a live band or DJ, or if that's too demanding on the budget, inviting guests to add to a collaborative playlist. That's a tip from chef and entrepreneur Camilla Marcus, founder of the pantry essentials brand Westbourne, who says "it's fun to see people perk up when their song comes, and then even more fun to follow up the next day sharing the playlist with everyone. Any chance to make a gathering collective and interactive amplifies the impact."
4. THE FOOD
Low-Lift: The best advice for your first dinner party menu is to turn to old favorites – or at least get a few test runs under your belt before you have guests over. Nothing adds to the stress like making a recipe for the first time under pressure. A big family style pasta lets you make the sauce ahead of time and only boil water when it's showtime, while deBoschnek's recipe for Roast Chicken with Schmaltzy Potatoes is a great one to master for entertaining. In fact the majority of her recent cookbook is dedicated to low-effort weeknight meals – but rest assured, they're sophisticated enough to anchor an evening around. Try some out for yourself to build your confidence; once you've mastered a dish, it's ready for a public debut.
Well-Planned: Camilla Marcus gives great advice about how to make your meals special: it's less about the dish itself and more where the ingredients come from. Writes Marcus, "Quality begins at the source is my core ethos. As you get more comfortable hosting, it's special to really seek out specific farms, growers, and makers so that the meal tells as much of the story of why you are gathering as the setting and guest list." Whether that's serving Josh Pond blueberries with dessert (a favorite of Marcus', and many other chefs), Van Van's stunningly unique Vietnamese herbs, or the best-looking produce from your local farmer's market, you'll have an interesting story to tell as you settle in to eat. Turn to Marcus' cookbook My Regenerative Kitchen for inspo that's reliably produce-forward.
All-In: Nothing is more memorable than a meal that's interactive, which lucky for us can take many different forms. A raclette party grill lets your guests cook meat and veggies while they broil cheeses on the lower rack, while Ooni makes the best-in-class pizza oven for grilling on the spot. But even if you'd rather do your own cooking, you can still design a Choose Your Own Adventure. Marcus shared that she has "staged a living garden down the length of a table and given gorgeous mini shears to each guest to add their own herbs and botanicals to finish off tacos." That thoughtful merging of the tablescape with the menu represents a truly holistic approach only the best hosts can pull off.
5. THE DRINK
Low-Lift: If this really is your first rodeo, setting up your place and getting the food ready is plenty to focus on. Let your guests bring wine (or beer), but buy the N/A options yourselves. No one turns up to these things expecting a craft cocktail, though if you lean that way yourself, feel free to make one that's easily batchable. I'm a big fan of Material Kitchen's Cloud Pitcher both for its look and its price tag — your guests can pour themselves while you tend to other needs. Make sure you don't forget the all-important bags of ice, though. Rather than running to your corner store while you're knee-deep in prep, ask one of your guests to bring a bag or two instead of wine. Just give them an early arrival time so drinks are cold when everyone else shows up.
Well-Planned: Once you've got some experience under your belt, it's always fun to play with drinks as a progression. If you're coursing out your food, why not come up with a wine pairing? You can still have your guests bring the bottles, just be more prescriptive in what you ask for. Better yet, let the wine stay relaxed but explore the world of after-dinner drinks, served in something like Nude Glass' gorgeous short cocktail glasses. I've started serving 50/50 sippers after my dinners these days, particularly the Fernana: equal parts Fernet Branca and banana liqueur. It signals to the crowd that the end of a good meal is just the beginning, and you can offer espresso or tea to anyone who's had their fill of booze.
All-In: Want that extra bit of wow factor? Don't just serve your guests drinks; send them home with some. The best parties come with party favors, and a little bottle of a homemade tipple is charmingly DIY while still feeling elevated. Saveur put out a great guide to making your own amaro, and though the lead-time on that is a few months, you'll end up with a batch you can parcel out for years to come. Check out online herbalist Biokoma to shop your bittering agents, and find a flavor combo that feels uniquely you. If you're not in the mood to play with esoterics, even a simple limoncello goes a long way. All you'll need is a clear spirit, lemon peels, and some cute glass bottles you can send home with your guests.
6. THE CLEANUP
The last and most dreaded factor, but for all three styles of hosts my advice remains the same: Save it for after the guests leave. The second that sink starts running, your party is in a death spiral, so ignore your friends' offers to help and roll up your sleeves once they depart. Yes, you put a lot of work in already, but let yourself enjoy the payoff by keeping the good times going. Revel in the conversation, and let the cleanup happen later.
Plus you only have to put the leftovers away and soak any cookware that'll need extra scrubbing. Always leave the real hard labor 'til the morning, when you can wake up and tackle it slowly. All the better for reliving memories of a very successful night before.
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