A Chill Best Served Chilled—This THC-Based Seltzer Actually Checks the Boxes

Did We Mention It’s One Hundred Percent Federally Legal?

As mentioned, I’m a goody two shoes. I never had a fake ID or got into trouble for anything more than too many water bottles on my nightstand (sorry, Mom). When it comes to substances, I’m a stickler for keeping my brain healthy—which means anything unregulated terrifies me slightly—and for staying within the legal limits.

It turns out Cornbread THC Seltzers contain five milligrams of pure hemp—none of the mixed or synthetic stuff that makes me so nervous. Because it contains less than 0.3% THC by weight, Cornbread THC Seltzer is legal at the federal level and ships to all states except for Idaho. Since my entire reasoning for avoiding alcohol is reducing the headaches, I was grateful that Cornbread’s shipping avoided one too. 

Its farming heritage also traces back 250 years. On a craft-brewing-type level, there are no preservatives either—it’s all fresh and focused on excellence. Unlike other THC brands, Cornbread doesn’t use harsh solvents, petrochemicals, or industrial acids in its process. It’s made from delta-9 (what you think of as “real” THC), versus delta-8, the synthetic kind. Both the drink and its chain of ingredients are guilt-free for me.

And Of Course, Let’s Get a Little Giddy

Since realizing that alcohol and I have largely broken up, I’ve turned to tea at night instead, but was missing a similar “fun” drink. I miss the buzz, a bit, but just can’t process the ingredients of alcohol as well—so a craft-centered seltzer sounded ideal. Cornbread notes that its “buzz” takes 15-20 minutes to kick in, which seemed accurate to my experience.

I will note that I missed the note on the packaging, which was my own fault. I assumed that the default “low dose” would be one can—not half a can, which doesn’t feel as intuitive to me. Since they’re carbonated beverages, I’d prefer a shorter can with a smaller dose rather than a larger dose in a tallboy so that I could save the other half for another night. Still, I love that it is small and measurable.

While I know how to pace myself drinking alcohol, I’m such a lightweight that pacing myself with THC (on the rare occasions I try it) feels practically impossible; since I have such trash lungs, I’ve only ever tried edibles, which hit me like a truck. After consuming one, even at a low dosage, I’m practically hurling away my possibility of being able to use my brain. So I was curious—and honestly a bit skeptical—as to whether Cornbread THC seltzers could provide me with that “easy drinking” experience that others have spoken about while dabbling in being “California sober.”

Finally, I understand what casual THC consumers are talking about. Minutes into drinking a can, I felt lighter and more relaxed, with a subtle euphoria I definitely felt capable of intensifying if desired. I still felt in control of the zone, without any hard-hitting psychoactive disorientation. I was still able to write, do my chores, and wind down for the evening, without having to commit to being “out of mind” the way I would with an edible. As the can instructs, I could start with half a can and consume up to three depending on my setting, sociality, and overall desire for buzz.

Beyond its deliciousness (definitely satisfying my desire for an “evening treat”), the light sensation and measurable dosage was definitely my primary benefit of Cornbread THC Seltzer.

I’m Used to Mindful Drinking Being a Lie, but Cornbread Walks the Walk

Helpfully, Cornbread THC Seltzer also provides guidelines for how much to drink, etc,. The brand recommends drinking one can if you’d like a relaxed and calm vibe, two for a happy and social atmosphere, and three cans for a blissful and euphoric experience. I settled in at two cans, and was in fact happy, but would feel confident scaling up or scaling down depending on my individual needs. I would absolutely down half a can or so when sore or sleepless for that physical relaxation effect that I often crave but can’t quite tap into. I would also feel comfortable going harder into my high knowing Cornbread’s transparency in sourcing and dosage—and enjoying every sip. 

Often, I’ll get excited too early when people talk about mindful drinking or being “California sober” — but then deflate when I realize their “buzzy” alternative is less measurable, and leads to the same muddy lack of clarity that I’m trying to avoid in alcohol and its associated hangovers. I hate feeling out of control, or frustrated with my body’s poor reaction, but the combination of natural ingredients, homegrown craft process, and transparent dosage in Cornbread THC Seltzer makes me confident actually layering its beverages into my social or relaxation routine.

Cornbread THC Seltzer says it’s “chill without the thrill,” but frankly—I’ll be absolutely thrilled to place another order too.

Get the same thrill.